I got this book from Amazon this week and I cannot to start using it. I think I will use a different journal to answer the questions, as the author says that during her zen journal retreats, she has everyone work for around 30 minutes per question. So I think I'll do that, because the idea is to get into the zen mindset while writing, so you can carry those feelings with you all day. Which is how you stay mindful.
Mindfulness saved me when I was at an all-time low. Back when I was at my worst, around 2010, I didn't know about it. But had I, I may have gotten better more quickly.
I suffer from pretty severe anxiety at times. I have since birth, and it's something that will never completely go away, but can be managed. Recently, I saw a video from a therapist I love who said "A relaxed body cannot be an anxious body". And mindfulness relaxes me like nothing else.
Back in 2018, when my life (and my family's life) was falling apart, mindfulness saved me and I've been on a journey with it ever since.
I watched the movie "Walk With Me", which is about Thich Nhat Hanh's Plum Village. This movie is mindfulness personified. If you want to experience how mindfulness is supposed to feel? Watch that movie. Or watch many of the amazing cottage core or other calming aesthetic channels on Youtube. They will show you exactly how it's supposed to feel. And for me, that feeling saved me from my horrible anxiety due to my family almost becoming homeless and then being put into a terrible situation that allowed someone to abuse us.
But just like anything new you learn, you feel super jazzed about it for a period of time, but eventually that starts to wear off and you start to forget that wonderful feeling you were so jazzed about. So you have to keep it up with various things. And one of those things for me, will be this journal to work on (as well the aesthetic Youtube videos I watch all the time).
So, I will post my entry for the first question in the journal (and I am excited it starts in spring and it's spring right now).
You can find this journal right here. https://www.amazon.com/Year-Zen-52-Week-Guided-Journal/dp/1647397170/
So, let's get started:
Present Moment: If you miss a moment, you miss your life. Take a moment to note this very moment: what do you see, hear, feel, notice most vividly.
I hear the fan whirring. I always have a fan on because of my tinnitus. But also, the birds. It's been so long since I've heard them, as it's been so cold. Yesterday was 70 degrees and it stayed warm enough all night to leave our windows open. The first time this year. And now the temperature is 62 and falling, and a chilly dampness is setting in. Severe thunderstorms are on the way. But the breeze through my windows is amazing after such a long winter. The smell. Oh the smell! I love the way the air smells when it's humid and chilly. It feels thick in my nose. I am also hungry. I can feel my stomach rumbling. I think I'll have some cereal, even though it's 3pm. I can also hear the cars distantly away on the highway, going to places only they know where. I always wonder about those people. About their lives, or what they're up to. Or if they're happy or suffering today. So I send them all love, just in case. I think today I will just enjoy the damp, humidness, because come tomorrow, it's going back down into the 40's again all week. So much for spring weather. But today, today is warm enough to not wear a jacket. So I will enjoy this moment, this day. And I will find something to enjoy in tomorrow, too.
My room is messy. But this is what happens when I create. I can keep it organized and clean when I am not creating. Which is why I don't always create. Sounds silly, but I've learned, when I don't create, I read, and I keep a cleaner room, and it doesn't hurt my creativity to take breaks. But even though it's messy and overwhelming right now, I just look at my stuff and say thank you, because without it, I could not create. And I am lucky to have this stuff to create with. I am very lucky. It also motivates me to keep creating so I can get done with it and have a clean room again LOL But even so, I have my picture of Harley looking at me every single day. I miss him. He as a great dog, our first one as a family. And hI wish he were still here. I have two other dogs who are elderly now and it makes me sad to know there will be life without them one day. But when I feel like that, I remember: they are here now. And I hug them and brush them and bathe them and play with them and know that in this moment, they are here with me and it's not worth being sad over when they won't be. Not now, at least. Because they aren't gone. Future worry does nothing but steal the present moment from us. And right now, my two other elderly dogs are on each side of me (though one is on the floor). And I know that I am blessed by their presence to have them with me. I am lucky.
I am breathing in this air and wow, is it wonderful. I send thank yous to the universe for allowing me to exist on this gorgeous day.
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